Good question! I have been throwing this around in my head for the last few days. I posted this on my Facebook page and it has been haunting me. Am I living my life or just paying bills until I die ? And If I am not living the life I "dream" or paying the bills, then what is it I am doing?
Surviving, Existing, hanging Out.....
Remember the 1st day of School, the last day of school, going on vacation, falling in love...... all of these things bring back memories of anticipation, waiting for something to happen, being excited about them. I can't think of anything right now that I look forward to! It used to be as simple as looking forward to the weekend, knowing that there would be something exciting happening then- Now the days all seem to run together!
Sometimes it feels like I am living in a rut, a rut that gets deeper and deeper. the things I looked forward to all seem to be buried under the things I need to do or even worse, the things other people expect and want me to do.
I am a dreamer, I had so many dreams when I was young. I wanted most of all to be an artist., but somehow Art was never important to the people in my life and spending time developing my talent was considered a waste of time. Being an artist cannot pay the bills!
But this is NOT TRUE, I know this to be so! I know successful artists who pay their bills and who live a live doing what they love. It takes work and it takes commitment and it takes people leaving you alone so you can do your own thing!
I want a life that falls out of the expected lines of others. I want to have rich friendships with like minded people. I want to travel and see the world. I want a comfortable home to come home to and I want to make Art. I want to talk about places and ideas instead of people and things.
Right now I am in a rut, but it will not last! I am an entrepreneur and I will figure out where the road will lead. I am not living the kind of life I want to live and I do not like it, I am not happy, and I am the only person who can change it. I am only living a lonely existence and I do not like it! I am turning into a bitter person and I do not like it. It is time for a BIG Change! Living the kind of life I want to live takes a lot of faith and courage. I do not give up easily! I just need to regroup and reorganize! I do not want to be that person who says I never tried something or I've never been there! I want to live the life I love!
Welcome to my journey!